Facing my fears...kind of

Me & Lynette

This week I officially started university! I have been soooooooo stressed about this and it has been really hard to talk about this to anyone as most people find it difficult to understand. I've kind of kept myself to myself and bottled up all my worries (which is wrong, I know) 
I've explained how worried I am to some people like my closest friends and my parents but I don't think they really understand how terrible this actually makes me feel.
I usually get the same response such as 'it's normal to be nervous' & 'you'll be fine' or as my mum said 'are we going to get the same performance as last time'
I mean the morning before my lectures I kept waking up early and having heart palpitations and an upset stomach worrying about the day! I keep getting these dizzy spells too :S

I am seriously so thankful to have my friend Lynette who I met during the enrollment week, as it turns out we have the same classes together and she doesn't live to far from me :) she's crazy just like me and I can actually be myself around her! It's weird because it feels like I've know her for ages when it has been a week and a few days :D She was actually shocked when I told her I'm a shy person. I mean I am so thankful to have my friends who have helped me actually get out the house this year but it's nice to have someone who is similar to you in a new situation!  it's always nice to have someone pull faces next to you when you feel stressed in a crowded lecture theatre :D 

Another thing is I've kind of faced my fear of actually being in a crowded room! I really hate being in crowded areas as I usually feel a bit paranoid and constantly worry I'll have a panic attack and people noticing. When I'm sat at the back this usually puts my anxiety at ease, so I've been keeping to the back recently. But I would do anything to just overcome this. I've been really tired & emotional recently after returning to education and starting the week with 3 hours worth of lectures and 2 hours of IT sessions in one day. But I'm trying to distract myself by blogging, keeping myself busy and music!

Thanks for reading! :) xx

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Labels: anxiety , friends , university