Merr Chrussmuss!

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Just wanted to say MERRY CHRISTMAS!  to everyone and I hope you all have a lovely day. I will write another post about the presents I received but I just wanted to say how thankful I was for all my family and friends! This is the first Christmas without my grandad and it just hasn't felt the same but we've still had a laugh! I'm also really thankful for all the friends who I have in my life right now, because they have certainly made my year a whole lot better! I've had a lovely past few days unwrapping presents with a friend in starbucks, speaking to another friend all the way in china today and opening a card from another friend which nearly made me cry (with happiness). I couldn't ask for a better group of people in my life, even the ones who I haven't mentioned here (yes you're part of this too!) Anyway I hope you're all enjoying today and get all the presents you want! 
Thanks for reading! xxx
P.S. Tell me what you're thankful for this year! 

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!

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It feels like I've been in a whirlwind this week but I really haven't done much at all. I thought I would write a quick post since I'm in a good mood and I'm feeling motivated! I've finally broken up from university for Christmas (woo!) I can't believe first semester is done already, I actually got through it!!! :) I've completed my assignments, I'm quite proud myself for getting them out the way so I can enjoy Christmas. Although I still have to buy a few more Christmas presents, work on Christmas eve and I have to study for January exams.
This week has been quite productive as I managed to buy Beyonce tickets *victory dance* for me and my mum next year!! I finished my uni essays and assignments, I did most of my Christmas shopping which I had been putting off for ages, doing my driving lesson and I started house viewing for next year.
But I have also done fun things as well to compensate for the stressful things such as going to the cinema to see Anchorman 2 (which was hilarious), eating out for lunch, baking Christmas cupcakes and going on nights out with friends. By doing all the nice things afterwards it kind of feels like a reward after the stressful events. I know some of these things may not be stressful to some people but there were for me.
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Christmas Cupcakes!
I have been a bit stressed about house viewing recently as my friend which I'm living with next year is worried that all the good places will go, this also made me worry! So after viewing the first house we got a bit overly excited and we viewed this as our potential house without looking at others. After discussing it with my mum, she advised me to definitely look into other places first and a house checklist is absolutely essential. So my plan is to carry on viewing more places but I don't plan on handing over my money until I'm happy and comfortable with the right place.

Oh yeah! I also got an early Christmas present from my mum...a dressing table! So my room was looking really cluttered and me and mum searched high and low for a nice dressing table. Long story short after searching through a variety of blogs, I found the perfect one from IKEA! It's a Malm dressing table complete with glass surface and a smooth pull out drawer all for £95. I also bought some lights from Urban Outfitters which cost £20. I love it so much and it has made my life much easier.

Another thing I've been doing is looking into volunteering next year during my Summer holidays. I really want to go to Japan at some point next year, but unfortunately I couldn't really find any programs that were held there. So I'm looking into going to China which offers a variety of volunteering programs which look really good and it's a place I would like to visit one day. Let's hope all goes to plan and somehow I may find a way to go to Japan :)

Anyway I hope you all have a lovely Christmas and thanks for reading


Baking and Clothes Show Live 2013 Haul!

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Last Friday me and my friend Megan decided to have a night of baking and have a Christmassy sleepover at mine, although it turned out much differently than planned! We thought it would be a cool idea to make a Gingerbread house. Now I'd like to say the image down below was our creation...but nope! It went completely wrong and we were tired so we decided to make gingerbread people and other creatures. We mutually agreed that next time we would buy the kit instead. After cleaning up the mess we made in the kitchen, we decided to nom on all the chocolate and sweets we bought for decoration and watched Muse tour DVD's, which was nice!

My Ideal Image

The next day I went to the Clothes Show Live 2013 with my mum, which is held in the NEC in Birmingham! This is an annual fashion event which seemed like an apocalypse of girls :) This was my second time going to this event and I treated my Mum with tickets. We rode on the train in First Class which was awesome but we got off the wrong stop! Anyway our hotel was lovely (Hilton hotel!) and it was right next to the NEC!

While I was there I felt a bit overwhelmed as there was so many people there and I felt uncomfortable but I still managed to enjoy myself. We did A LOT of shopping and we went to the fashion show which presented 'A weekend in the Country'. I had a feeling my mum would love this theme and she certainly did. The whole performance was so exciting and it certainly had my mum dancing along haha!

I decided to do a haul of the things which I bought, this is my first haul so don't judge me :) 
I purchased some beautiful nail varnish from the Models Own stall, they had an offer of 3 nails vanishes for £10 (I mum chose one for herself) and a free goody bag. I nearly cried with happiness when I opened the goody bag, it included a glittery blue limited edition nail varnish, a lip balm stick, a brown eyeliner pencil, a black eyeliner pencil, a shimmery black eye pencil, a black khol eyeliner pencil with smudger and sharpener attached, 4 eyeshadow applicators, a nail file and buffer, a cute pocket mirror, and sheer sparkle lipstick.

 Next I decided to buy a teeth whitening kit from the Professional Teeth Whitening stall. I don't usually care abut this sort of stuff but I just wanted to experiment. This cost about £30, but around £60 online so I though why not? I haven't tried it yet but you're supposed to apply the gel over your teeth and then apply a strip over your teeth and leave it for 20-30 minutes. This is supposed to last for 3 years if you keep it in the fridge and the woman said she usually tops up her teeth every 6 months.

I bought a lot of products from the Bomb Cosmetics stall. They had beautiful candles which were 2 for £10 and 3 bath bombs for £5. If you spent over £20 you received a free candle but I spent £15 only. I loved this shop and I will definitely order more items from here, when I get the chance (and have the money). 

Last but not least I finally bought some clothes! I couldn't really see many clothes that I liked but I went to the Lily J London stall which kind of had a Japanese style with a lot of lace and pretty dresses, after a long time of deciding and bought a  long sleeve blue dress with a beautiful lace design (£32) and a creme lace dress which can be worn 2 ways (£28). I also gave in and bought a pearl necklace/choker (£12 I think). I went to another shop which I think was called Tenki and bought this beautiful blue Peter Pan collared lace dress for £25 and it was buy one get one free, so my mum got a stylish jumper for free :)
After a long day walking in uncomfortable shoes and carrying so may shopping bags we headed back the hotel, had a long sleep and had a lovely meal. 
The next day we went to the Bullring Shopping Centre which is HUGE! However we didn't stay too long and got the train back home. I had an amazing weekend and I really do miss it.

Thanks for reading 

    Getting through anxiety & Reflection!

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    This is the second post I've written this week, gosh I'm on a roll! :) It's a nice chill Sunday and I'm feeling really happy and in a good mood today! 
    I was laying in bed having a moment of reflection after my friend sent me this on twitter which made me laugh!

    I started to think how much I have actually changed over the few years although it feels like nothing has really happened. I was looking back and at first thought that I developed anxiety in my teenage years but after talking to my mum, I realised it was always something I had since I was child but it kind of got worse as I grew older. She told me I would actaully panic and hyperventilate when we were once locked in a porterloo (portable toilet) by some stupid people -_- which is why I would probably never go in one again. I was a quite a shy child and to be honest I still labelled myself as shy today but I think I have come out of my shell especially since last year when I started working and staring university. So for all of you who are thinking "I'm so quiet, people think I'm boring!" It gets better, you just develop in your own time and also the quiet ones are always the mysterious ones, so you are not boring, you are the interesting one who people actually want to get to know. 

    I thought I would take this time to write a few things on how to get through those anxious times. Usually I have my up and down days or weeks, where I can feel less anxious than usual for a few weeks and then BAM! Something just makes me feel on edge for a few weeks until I manage to calm down again. Originally I wanted to call this post 'Beating Anxiety' but to be honest I haven't even completely figured that out myself so I thought I would give a few tips on how I manage to cope with anxiety and get though the obstacles that I come across.
    • Anxiety Diary
    Last year I kept a diary, where I wrote down how I felt from when I woke up in the morning to last thing at night. I would write in my worries and what I was excited for, things I succeeded in and things I was thankful for. My CBT therapist thought this was really good as it could help me distinguish any patterns and to get my thoughts out on to paper. I also used to write down the symptoms I had and what I was thinking during moments of anxiety and I would rate my mood. 
    I recently read through it again after I filled all the pages and my anxiety had decreased a lot over the year. So it's nice to see if your doing well and if not then you have an idea on what you need to focus on. I am now using this diary, which is really cute!
    • Yoga & Meditation
    This relaxtaion technique was recommended to me by my therapist and I found yoga and meditation quite useful but since I haven't been doing it recently, I think this is what has caused me to feel stressed again. I did a lot of yoga during the Summer and I would go to classes with my mum on a Sunday. This is supposed to me good for people who are more prone to having panic attacks and reducing the built up stress in your system. Regular yoga practice can help by keeping you calm in daily life and making you less tense, strengthens your body posture and helps you with breathing techniques to relieve anxiety. I really did enjoy this and I'm going to start doing it at home again.
    • Exercise 
    This is another one where I feel guilty, because I haven't done exercise in a while, oops! I have a gym membership but I haven't been in months! I found exercising and going for runs did help my anxiety as I was able to use all the built up and excess energy I had in body. This is seriously good for those of you who feel agitated all the time. It would also put me in a good mood once I worked out and I would sleep a lot better at night. Unfortunately I started to get lazy and didn't go to the gym as much so I found Blogilates on Youtube! She's amazing and her workouts are really fun (but painful!)
    • A nice warm bath
    I always like to treat myself with a nice warm bath, when I mean warm I mean scorching hot! :) Especially now that it's winter, it's time for lots of bubble bath, products from lush and relaxation, this always cheers me up and I feel the need to have a fresh start once I get out the bath :D
    • Massages
    I usually try and get a massage done at least once a month, as this is a relaxation technique where I don't have to do anything and I can actually relax and just clear my mind. Massages are good for breaking down built up toxins or waste in the muscles and alleviates pain in those areas where you feel tense. Remember to drink water afterwards too!
    • Shopping
    So I'm not much of a huge shopaholic  but I do found that retail therapy can make me feel a little better when I'm stressed! It's amazing how a new outfit can sometimes make you feel better about yourself. Nail varnish is one of my addictions and I seem to always treat myself to new ones, I really need to stop. Even a new book or CD can put a smile on my face!
    • Chamomile tea
    I recently got back into drinking chamomile tea as it is supposed to have a calming effect. So it honestly doesn't have the best taste but adding half a teaspoon of sugar doesn't hurt! I usually have 1 cup a day but I'm going to try and drink more. Chamomile tea is supposed to be good for decreasing palpitations and panic attacks, relaxing the nerves and relieving muscle spasms. Supposedly it's also good for getting you to sleep.
    • Talking 
    Talking to my mum and friends helps me feel less stressed. Just having someone to listen to you can make you feel better, even if they don't have the answer to all your problems it's nice to just have a chat to someone and not bottle everything up making you even more stressed out and that really doesn't help anyone. 
    • Weekly Plan Board 
    I decided to put up a board in my room where I can write down my weekly plans and reminders. It's nice to see a clear version of what's going on during the week instead of a scramble of plans and deadlines in my head, which could probably cause me to have a breakdown haha :') (no, but really!)

    Those were all my coping techniques and there's probably more but this list was really long, if you would like more just ask! Anyway I have a lot of things to look forward to this month such as going to the Clothes Show Live next week, breaking up for Christmas holidays, baking Christmas cookies and cakes. 

    P.S. here's a page that I found which I found really interesting on the symptoms of anxiety and how you can attempt to deal with it:

    Emotional Week!

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    This week has been an emotional roller coaster for me and my family! I was absolutely dreading this week but I thought the only way to get through it was to take each day as it went along. I spent Monday at work and then I had to go to uni to do a presentation. I only had 5 minutes to do it and I think the person who assessed us knew that I was really nervous, but I managed to do it (I went over the time limit though!) 
    Tuesday I worked again and I felt really emotional, that night the family went to my Nanan's house and we cooked all sorts of Jamaican food, it was so lovely!
    Then Wednesday finally arrived which was the day of my Grandad's funeral. I won't go into too much detail but I cried so much that day. I went to sit beside my Nanan before we left and we both cried together, it just felt so unreal that he was gone. The service was perfect, the church was full of people who had even flown over to celebrate his life; I think he would of been proud. I had to stand outside for a moment as it was too much and started to feel panicky again :( but I went back in to see the end. Afterwards we went to bury him and it wasn't sad at all, we gathered round and sang church hymns to him while someone played the drum. We ended the night at the reception where we had a meal (more Jamaican food, yum!) and watched a slideshow with pictures of grandad, he really did live a fulfilling life and he was a huge inspiration to me. He always believed in me when I doubted myself and I'm so glad he was a part of my life. I will never forget him :'(

    Today I had a full day at university and one of the lectures was on 'Anxiety Disorders'. It was really interesting to explore this topic & it kind of hit me, making me feel quite emotional about it all. I don't think some people in the room realised how difficult this disorder is, I don't like to label myself but it was nice to see a lecture on something which I was certainly interested in. It made me think about a lot things, but I won't bore you :) It reassured me why I wanted to study psychology and why I created this blog. I don't have many followers but if it helps people then that makes me happy!
    To end this post I wanted to add a video from one of my favourite youtubers, Bubzbeauty. She's so sweet and she made a video about 'how to stop worrying and stressing' you should definitely check out her videos if you haven't already :)
    I'm sorry if all of this didn't make much sense, I'm so tired! But thanks for reading xxx

      I just can't cope :(

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      I feel really bad because I haven't posted anything on here for over a month now. So many things have happened since my last post I celebrated my 20th birthday twice with friends but unfortunately was too ill to have a nice family meal with my parents (which sucks!). The day before my birthday was pretty intense as I had a breakdown in front of my friend at university where I just couldn't control the panic and I don't think she really understood.
      Less than 2 weeks ago I had one of the best days with my friends as we went for a lovely meal at Wetherspoons (which is our regular place to eat) and we went to see the Muse movie at the cinema, it was AMAZING! I actually nearly cried because it just reminded me of when we saw them in the Summer and it was a day where I had no worries and I felt really happy! But with good things, bad things also takes place; as later that night my grandad sadly passed away :'( He battled his cancer for years and he was so strong but eventually it took him. 
      It's great to know that the support in my family is so strong and my friends are always there for me, but recently I just can't help but worry. Panic attacks are emerging all the time especially this week and I just feel like crying which I guess is normal. I don't know I just feel really down most days since I have a few deadlines coming up, I have to do my uni presentation next week, the funeral is getting closer and I'm even considering whether I actually like my course at university! 

      Anyway I'm trying my hardest to start again and get through this by using my reading week (which I'm on now) to be productive. I believe that all this stuff which I need to sort out is causing me to have these panic attacks again and making me feel miserable. I'm also thinking about the good things which I did recently such as seeing Vampire Weekend in Leeds last weekend. I've started drinking camomile tea again as well to help with relaxation. The fact that Christmas is coming up soon, makes me happy too as this means watching cheesy American Christmas films on Christmas24!
      To end this on a good note I'll add some lovely pictures which makes me smile :)
      Thanks for reading! xxx


      Tea Drinking, Cocktails & Food!

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      As it is now Autumn/Winter time (which I dislike very much) this means snuggling up in wooly jumpers, thick scarves and eating copious amount of food! Which is certainly what I've done this week!
      So this week I joined the tea drinking society! Yes I know this sounds really peculiar but to be honest it was the only society I definitely wanted to join. Also my best friend, Megan recently became president of this society (she was a member last year) and she persuaded me to join. On the night that it started I felt really awkward shuffling in whilst they were in the middle of a quiz about tea (I had work before!) But I joined a team and made myself some tea and it was really fun! I was slightly nervous about going and I was even considering backing out but I knew I had to get out of my comfort zone and beat those negative thoughts going around in my head. Everyone was really lovely and I actually met a lot of new people :) I also brought along some chocolate cake and soon realised that cake brings everyone together :D I can't wait to go back next week, which will be on my birthday!
      Pub Grub! 
      Wednesday was a pretty short day as I only had one lecture and another introduction presentation. Even though we were in uni for about 3 hours, it still tired us out haha! We went to a pub for some lunch, which was sooo delicious! This may be a regular Wednesday thing now.
      Vodka Rev & Summer in the city
      Last night I had a great start to weekend with Megan as we went to go battle for tickets for Summer in the City 2014! We managed to get some earlybird tickets before they sold out with Megan's amazing ticket buying skills! :D Afterwards we went to celebrate by going to Vodka Revolution and using our student cards which we purchased for £2 at the student lock-in. We definitely had a feast, I was so full from our margherita pizza (only £1) and felt a bit tipsy after having 2 for 1 cocktails!
      We had a such a fun time and we plan on going back very soon as we're only half way through our coupon book! 
      Anyway that was my week so far and I plan to update more regularly as I have lots of things coming up. 
      Thanks for reading ^.^ xx

      Facing my fears...kind of

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      Me & Lynette
      This week I officially started university! I have been soooooooo stressed about this and it has been really hard to talk about this to anyone as most people find it difficult to understand. I've kind of kept myself to myself and bottled up all my worries (which is wrong, I know) 
      I've explained how worried I am to some people like my closest friends and my parents but I don't think they really understand how terrible this actually makes me feel.
      I usually get the same response such as 'it's normal to be nervous' & 'you'll be fine' or as my mum said 'are we going to get the same performance as last time'
      I mean the morning before my lectures I kept waking up early and having heart palpitations and an upset stomach worrying about the day! I keep getting these dizzy spells too :S

      I am seriously so thankful to have my friend Lynette who I met during the enrollment week, as it turns out we have the same classes together and she doesn't live to far from me :) she's crazy just like me and I can actually be myself around her! It's weird because it feels like I've know her for ages when it has been a week and a few days :D She was actually shocked when I told her I'm a shy person. I mean I am so thankful to have my friends who have helped me actually get out the house this year but it's nice to have someone who is similar to you in a new situation!  it's always nice to have someone pull faces next to you when you feel stressed in a crowded lecture theatre :D 
      Another thing is I've kind of faced my fear of actually being in a crowded room! I really hate being in crowded areas as I usually feel a bit paranoid and constantly worry I'll have a panic attack and people noticing. When I'm sat at the back this usually puts my anxiety at ease, so I've been keeping to the back recently. But I would do anything to just overcome this. I've been really tired & emotional recently after returning to education and starting the week with 3 hours worth of lectures and 2 hours of IT sessions in one day. But I'm trying to distract myself by blogging, keeping myself busy and music!

      Thanks for reading! :) xx

      Busy! Busy! Busy!

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      Sorry I haven't been able to update too regularly but I've just been so busy with uni stuff and other things. 
      Freebie Fair
      I went to a Freebie Fair on Tuesday for new and returning students with one of my friends and the queue for the entrance was huge :O Anyway we manged to get in fairly quickly and grab free food such as slices of pizza, cookies and sweets! There was also the huge amount of wristbands and pencils they were giving away. Me and my friend also got a picture taken together at the photo booth area. We were also given leaflets which contained student discounts on them (yaaay!) and posters to hang up on our wall! My favourite things which we received was definitely the Manfrotto tripod connector and case, which was kind of cool but I have to purchase the tripod and the LED lighting to actually make use of this product which I may look into. My other favourite freebie was the bag of stuff which costcutter were giving away. Costcutter is both a supermarket and convenience store and people were queuing for this awesome freebie (which I call the bag of happiness!) This catered for every student's needs as it contained treats such as mini oreos, alpen cereals sachets, chocolate, red bull, mikado, cookies, pringles, a pot of rice and they even cared about dental health by supplying us with a toothbrush and toothpaste haha! (not all junk food)
      Headphone Disco!
      That same Tuesday night I went to a headphone disco at a nightclub, I was tired after the busy day I had but I was kind of looking forward to this as it was certainly a new experience. The nightclub gave you headphones for a £5 deposit and you could switch between 2 different channels which was being broadcasted by 2 different djs! As soon as I walked in I found it hilarious that people were singing to no music, just in a silent room with huge headphones on! But when I put the earphones on it felt like I was actually in a nightclub listening to the same music as everyone else. The headphone music selection was a choice of indie, rock, motown & 60s music and the other channel played pop, RnB and dance music. This was certainly a lot of fun and exceeded my expectations. 
      Activities Fair
      Thursday was the day I officially enrolled as a student and I got my student card, but I manged to produce the most derptastic photo for my card! So yes I have to keep that until 2016! Great -_- Afterwards I went to the activities fair which involved getting more sweets and signing up to societies. Now my friend she probably signed up to every society going haha! As my plan is to get out of my comfort zone and to try new things I thought this would be a great opportunity. I didn't sign up to too many as some didn't really interest me, however I signed up to the tea drinking society, the hobby society, raise and give and I plan on joining the attractions and entertainment society, volunteering and the circus society :D

      Student Lock-in
      Thursday night I went to a student lock-in a Meadowhall! I was looking forward to this event all week! Discounts, food and FREEBIES! We started by indulging ourselves in three course meal at Frankie and Bennys. It was so nice but I was so full and I got bored of sitting down for a while. Afterwards we went all around Meadowhall to shop! I bought some lovely jumpers & nail varnish from Topshop, a new make up bag from Claires and some marker pens from Blott! We didn't get much time to shop but we still had a laugh!

      I also went back to taking driving lessons on Friday, I hadn't driven in probably almost a year and it felt like I was a beginner again but my instructor has hope in me! I also went to Leeds on Saturday so I may do a shopping haul on that. I got up to a lot of things this week and this post is getting too long so I'll stop here!
      Thanks for reading and your lovely comments ^_^ xx

      Uni Induction!

      Yesterday was my first day at university and I was so stressed out, probably beyond the normal level of nervousness, it wasn't nice at all :( It was so lovely to wake up to some lovely comments on here which really mean a lot to me, so thank you!
      I tried to taking my mind off my induction by going to the Freebie Fair before which was really good, I mean who doesn't like receiving lots of free stuff! They gave away free slices of pizza which my friend had to basically force me to eat it because I was that nervous.
      Afterwards I went to my university campus for the induction. I got a bit lost looking for the building I was in but managed to find some lovely people who were just as lost as me haha! So I ended up sitting with them in the induction. Now being in that small hall was like my worst nightmare, I was sat a few rows from the back which was alright, but just sitting in a place surrounded by lots of people did make me really anxious because I believe that I will have a panic attack when I least expect it. So I just forced myself to cope with it and sit throughout the whole thing (which I can usually do when I feel like I'm in a stressful situation). It actually wasn't too bad, it must have taken between an hour to an hour and a half! (I was so relieved to finally get out)
      We were then taken on a tour around the campus which lasted about half an hour, it was so overwhelming because the place was so big! My friends who are already at uni told me it was normal to be confused and not remember which place was where though.
      After the tour had finished we were allowed to leave, but something good came out of my day because I made a friend who is staying in accommodation not too far from me! We exchanged numbers and have made plans already :)
      Now that I look back I found it so silly that I was stressing out over 2 hours of my day. This is why I hate anxiety and want to overcome it, so I can actually feel normal for once. Before I left the house my Mum told me 'you have overcome so much this year, and you can do it again now. Just think of it as an adventure an obstacle that you need to overcome.' Which made me think I can do this!

      Oh! I was just browsing the interwebs and I found this blog which has a post on starting university with mental illnesses. It seems pretty helpful and informative, I did the majority of things on here before my first day began.
      If you're interest then just click here

                                                                      Thanks for reading! :) xx 
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      Freshers Week

      It's the beginning of Freshers week and I had a bit of a panic attack this morning about university which I start tomorrow. After talking to some of my friends today who managed to calm me down and reassured me that they feel exactly the same about starting, I thought I would write this post as a distraction from all the stress.
      There are many reasons why I am terrified:
      • Did I choose the right course? Do I really want to study Psychology? 
      • Going through all the workload and stress again
      • Meeting new people
      • Being in crowded lectures! 
      It just feels like I had the greatest year off with an amazing Summer and now that university has started it's all ended. I know this is a really negative perspective on life but that's kind of how I feel.
      I know I have other things to look forward and university isn't the main thing in my life

      Anyway to keep myself distracted and more positive I thought I'd list some things that make me happy whenever I'm feeling stressed or down.

      Things That Make Me Happy:
      • Music
      • Concerts
      • Youtubers
      • Genuine hugs
      • Muse
      • Dogs
      • Babysitting
      • Sunny days
      • Learning Japanese
      • Friends
      • Looking at random tumblr blogs
      • Food
      • Reading
      • Buying new clothes (usually cute, vintage, quirky style)
      • Spontaneous days out
      • Going to cities like London & Manchester
      • Talking to people who have the same interests as me :)
      • Cupcakes
      • Talking to my friend who lives in Japan
      • Hot chocolate
      • Watching movies at home with popcorn & a blanket
      Those are some things that make me smile when I feel crappy. I really hope this week goes smoothly and that I will settle into uni nicely like everyone says I will and I will try and post updates on my week.
      Tell me things that make you happy!

      Friday! Friday! Gotta get down on Friday!

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      This Friday that has just gone was a very exciting day as I went to Manchester to see Paramore!
      Now the night before I was really stressed out since I had organised this trip and because one of my friends had dropped out of going because of silly arguments between the group, but thankfully one of our other friends was able to book a last minute coach and join us! So we hopped on the train about 10am and arrived about 11ish, the journey was sooo quick! 

      Our hotel was lovely even though it was a budget hotel, I stayed in a triple room with a double bed and bunk bed (which was awesome!) the only weird thing was the shower was in the room and had clear glass so you could see through it haha! we got past this though as we were totally amazed with the coloured LED lights on the shower head (easily amused us lot.)

      Our day involved frolicking around Manchester in the Arndale shopping centre, eating at Wetherspoons and visiting their huge Primark! Picked up our friend at the coach station and headed off to the M.E.N arena for PARAMORE!

      The supporting acts were okay! I enjoyed Eliza and the Bear very much however Charli XCX wasn't really my cup of tea. As soon as Paramore came on stage, the audience was going crazy as they started with 'Grow Up'. The whole show was fantastic and really lived up to my expectations. It even got pretty emotional when the played 'The Only Excepetion' and the whole arena was filled with lights from the audiences phones. During 'Misery Business' they grabbed someone from the audience to sing a part of the song, I was totally jealous! And then at the end they sprayed confetti everywhere, it was like a huge party for thousands of people ^_^ 
      Now this was the second time I have seen Paramore and they were just as amazing when I saw them 3 years ago. Their style may have changed a little but they were still the same group on stage and had me up and dancing just as crazily, I think I even sprained my ankle!

      We went out afterwards into the city centre but we were too exhausted to drink and dance some more, so we didn't stay out too long!
      The next morning we checked out the hotel and had breakfast at Costa which was scrumptious! Afterwards we headed towards the train station and went back home!

      Overall I had an amazing night and I didn't want to leave Manchester and I didn't have any anxiety but lots of fun instead! I bought a new shirt from the concert as well which I don't want to take off because I love it. 

      Sorry this was so long and I'm definitely going to try to blog more. Thanks for reading x


      Hi there!

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      So I'm new to all of this and as you can tell this is my first blog post! *gulp* 
      I have no idea where to start but I guess the best the way to start would be why I created this in the first place.

      Why did I start this blog?
      I wanted to create this blog a while ago but as I suffer from anxiety, I found it difficult to begin this as I'm afraid of people judging me and people I know in real life finding this blog or nobody reading this in the first place. I wanted to make this as a little project to myself where I keep track of my progress with anxiety and to share all the ups and downs I go through with people who understand what I am going through or for people who want to understand. 

      Why did I call your blog 'keep calm say yes'?
      Well this blog was inspired by one of my favourite youtubers Zoella. If you don't know about Zoella go and look her up, she is so adorable and she has inspired me to do so much this year. After watching her video on panic attacks and anxiety this made me decide to change as I was sick and tired of living with anxiety. One of  Zoe's quotes which I now live by is 'just say yes'. Obviously I don't say 'yes' to everything if I don't want to do something, but by accepting to do things which my anxiety held me back from this has kind of changed me and made me want to do more things with my life. Seriously watch this video:


      What do I hope to achieve from this blog?
      Well I'm hoping to look back at this one day and just see how far I have come and to keep pushing past those barriers in my life. I hope to help other people in the same boat as me (whether you suffer from anxiety, depression, shyness or anything else) because I truly know how horrible it is.

      Where does my anxiety come from?
      To be quite honest I don't really know where it came from. I know that I used to be a shy kid and my mum even had to take me to a speech therapist just so I could talk, yes I was a late bloomer! But as I grew I did become more talkative. Anyway I will go into more detail about this in a separate post as I am currently on long journey of discovery as to why I have this. 

      I think I've written too much and this is all I can think of at the moment. Thanks for taking the time to read this and I hope this will benefit you in anyway, if you have any questions feel free to comment :)            x x x                         

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