December already?

This year is going way too fast, where did November even go?
I've been so busy doing things, getting stuck into my assignments and panicking over everything haha! No wonder it felt like such a whirlwind.
I thought I would share all the photos I took in November to show what I have been up to in the past month.

*We went to see Disney on Ice in a moment of spontaneity and it was AMAZING! As soon as we entered the arena the smell of sweetness just hit me from all the popcorn and sweets, you definitely knew it was Disney. I couldn't help myself smiling all the way through it like I was a giddy 5 years old again! I treated myself to some flashing minnie mouse ears too. We agreed that we would definitely see Frozen on Ice next year*

*I've been to a few Christmas markets but not in my hometown, Manchester and Leeds. I took my mum to the Manchester one as she'd never been to one before. We had such a good time and the only thing I bought was a soap filled sponge, yeah it's really weird at first but I absolutely love mine! I went to the Leeds one with my friend and it was much different from Manchester's which was spread across the centre, I found this one so cute as it reminded me of a little village. We supped on Baileys hot chocolate and I got myself a crepe with Nutella.*

*Lynette celebrated her 21st birthday which was Frozen themed (no surprise there) but it was so nicely set out, had a lovely meal at Fancie and then sang happy birthday to her as the cake was brought out (I didn't get a photo so I stole hers hehe). Afterwards we continued celebrating in town where my friend Georgina was also celebrating her 21st! Lots of dancing and drinking cocktails! Thank god I'm no longer the old one anymore*

*We celebrated the one year anniversary of my Grandad's death by visiting his grave and laying some lovely flowers down. We then went for a quick bite to eat and drink at a lovely place (forgotten the name though). Truly emotional day.*

*We recently had a new couple move onto our street and they put on a lovely housewarming party, every one baked and brought things to eat, ah it was so cute! Plus I got to meet some people on my road that I'd never seen or spoken too. We're even thinking of having a street party next summer, actually can't wait*

*Had a nice birthday lunch with Lynette before our seminar, had a meal at a lovely Italian which we will definitely being going back too. I've been craving Italian food a lot lately. She also gave me some presents from Paris and Japan* 

*Some good news! I received my psychology placement for next semester at...The South Yorkshire Eating Disorder Association, which I'm so pleased about because I really wanted to work in this area. I'm a little nervous but so excited at the same time*

*Just gonna throw in that I've finally got my hair highlighted again and now it looks all autumnal and brown, yaaay!*

*The last event of November was a lovely wedding party. My friend from Japanese class recently married and a few of us were invited to her wedding party which was held in a cottage hidden away (never actually knew it existed). It was a French/English wedding and she looked so beautiful. My love for the French language has definitely grown and I'm determined to learn it now*

Let's see what December has in store...

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My 21st Birthday Celebration

I finally got to celebrate my birthday at the weekend and I chose celebrate in style in Manchester. People kept asking me why Manchester? I love being in Manchester it just feels so lively and the nightlife seems better than Sheffield to me and if it wasn't Manchester I would have chosen London and I didn't fancy making us all broke.

I had an amazing weekend with my best friends and I am completely blessed to have these girls in my life for making it so special. I started the day with getting my nails painted in my own Barry M Gelly Nail Effect polish in Blue Grape and silver glitter polish to match my dress.

After rushing around and panicking before leaving the house, we were on the train to Manchester. 

We stayed in a lovely aparthotel (apartment hotel) 5 minutes away from the station, so glad my mum was able to find this one because it was quite a late booking. As soon as we entered the apartment we all gasped in excitement and ran from room to room bagsying bedrooms haha! 

I definitely felt quite glamorous staying here for the weekend in a two bedroom apartment with a nice view of Manchester. 

The night started with a trip to the shop to buy breakfast supplies and returning back to eat cake and play Ring of Fire which I'd never played, I've not laughed that much in a while my stomach was actually hurting. After playing two rounds we got dressed and I discovered how difficult it was to apply make up properly when you've been playing drinking games (never again). The blue sequin dress was in the ASOS sale for £16, they only had an XS left but luckily it was the perfect size and I wore a pair of nude heels £12 from ASDA. We took lots of girly photos shuffling from the kitchen to the bathroom and then we headed out.

We started with a meal which initially was going to be in Hard Rock Cafe, however there was a 75 minute wait and being pretty pricey we thought we'd try the all you can eat buffet next door called Peachy Keens and we ended up really liking it. The waiters were lovely and even told me how much they liked my dress. And you can't go wrong with 20% student discount making it £12 each. A lot cheaper than Hard Rock.

Next we got the taxi to Vodka Revolution on Oxford Road and we enjoyed a free shot and a pitcher. Afterwards we walked towards Sackville which is the vibrant gay village in Manchester, we decided to try their Baa Bar and I preferred this one a lot more compared to the one in Deansgate. Although me and friend got a bit freaked out by the unisex toilet.

We ended the night in 5th Avenue night club which I'm not going to lie was a bit of a disappointment with the music, but we met some lovely people there. We thought of looking for another place but being low on money and feeling exhausted we thought we'd head back to the apartment and just order pizza instead. 

In the end it was a really good night out, probably the best I've had in a while and I didn't have a breakdown yaaay! We had breakfast in the morning courtesy of Megan and checked out later because no normal person can leave at 11am. 

I had an amazing weekend of laughter and tears of happiness rolling down my face, we're pretty tempted to come back and do it all over again for 2 nights in the future. 

Hope you enjoyed reading!

x x x

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A Birthday Refelection

Once again I've neglected my blog for God knows how long! (I'm sorry blog)

Last Wednesday was my 21st birthday, it feels weird just writing that because I still don't feel any older and I've been told that I look about 12 years old instead.

I had a lovely time celebrating with a family meal at the Pointing Dog on Eccy road (pretty fancy!) and then on my actual Birthday I went to the cinema to see Annabelle and went to Cosmo, horror films and all you can eat food goes hand in hand for me! That weekend I celebrated other people's birthday, so this weekend I will be celebrating my birthday in Manchester with friends. 

For this post I wanted to reflect on my life in the past year as my friend made me do in the taxi back home last Wednesday.

What I've realised about myself:

I'm still really hard on myself...but I can't help being a perfectionist. I'm usually like this when it comes to university, driving lessons and life in general. When I have a moment of anxiety and have panic attacks I tend to be to hard on myself and work myself into a low mood comparing myself to everyone else. But another thing I've noticed is that I don't give up so easily, even though I'm not keen on my uni course I'm still trying my hardest and view it as a platform and a learning curb. 

One new thing I tried last year?

I started to go on bike rides again in the Summer which I really enjoyed, it helped me clear my mind and I was also getting exercise. I'll definitely keep it up! 

What new things do I want to try within this year?

I'm planning to take up guitar lessons again, take up yoga, volunteering, view life in a more positive way and to take up another language to learn. 

What has been my greatest achievement in the last year?

Sticking through university and getting into my second year which I couldn't even envision. Also for sticking through my part-time job whilst studying, I've never stayed in the same workplace for more than 3 months and I've gone and done it. Must be a year and a half now :)

What do I hope to achieve in the next year?

Next year I hope to see a happier, more focused and healthier version of myself. I want to try and enjoy my life more and not to put myself down as much. I hope to see the world as much as much as possible whether it be abroad or just locally, your twenties is the best time to just do it all. 

What do I need to work on?

I think I need to start being more selfish and do more for myself. My whole life I've been worrying about what other people think about me and I even took a course at uni because I thought my family wouldn't be proud of me for picking a course which wasn't as 'academic or wouldn't get me far in the future'. I should be doing what I love because it is my life! I always believe that good results will come to those who work hard so I am determined work hard and change my life for the better. 

What was the best thing about last year?

Meeting new people and forming new friendships definitely comes to mind. Another is when I went to Florida in the summer and spending time with my friend, it was nice to feel a sense of freedom.

When was I at my lowest point?

I've had a few low points this year and they all stem from studying uni course which I no longer have a passion for and the future. It scares me so much that I won't do as well as people expected in near the future. It made me sad to see that people were enjoying their lives at uni or know what they wanted to do and I just felt constantly lost. 

One piece of advice I would give to my future self?

My advice is not to worry too much and if I am really determined to work hard everything will be alright.

A proper birthday post will be up soon about my adventures this weekend!

Promise!

x x x

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Mum's 50th Birthday

Yesterday was my Mum's birthday! The big 5 0 (Despite the fact that she constantly denies this.)

The morning started with presents, she received a lovely Champneys spa set from my Dad and I gave her a soppy card and made a photo book for her filled with photos of our travels and other family pictures. I ordered this from PhotoBox which I definitely recommend for their amazing service as I was worried it wouldn't turn up on time, however I received it 2 days after confirmation of it being shipped. It looked amazing and I would definitely use them again and more importantly my mum loved it too, she even cried.

Beautiful flowers from Nanan

After opening presents we looked through a lot of old family photos which could be used for her party on Saturday. It was so nice seeing these photos although she complained there were too many baby photos of me and not enough her haha! Following on from this I revealed to her the schedule for the day after joking that we were taking her to the old people's home, she was delighted when I told her me and Nanan were taking her for a Spa day at the Double Tree Hilton.

So my Dad dropped us off at the hotel and we headed straight to the spa. My mum started with her back massage which I had booked for her whilst I enjoyed relaxing in the sauna, steam room, jacuzzi & pool with nanan. My mum joined us glowing with a smile as she found the massage really relaxing. We then ordered afternoon tea in the bar which was delicious, this included smoked salmon and cucumber sandwiches, slices of chocolate cake, scones with a pot of jam & cream and profiteroles. Me and Nanan shared a pot of tea and mum had a white wine. 

My dad joined us and then drove us back home but first we took a detour to Homebase, Matalan & Next. Me and Dad ended up going to Pets at Home where I just fell in love with the animals and I got to hold a rabbit (omg! She was so cute) Let me tell you I was very tempted to buy her but I didn't :(

We then went home and had a birthday dinner which Dad cooked! Salmon with a seafood selection and salad. We all chilled out for a bit and I brought in the birthday cake for mum in the form of a Cadbury's flake celebration cake. She blew out her candles and we all tucked in!

So that was the day summed up in a nutshell and she really loved it! She's still raving about it today. The next round is the Birthday BBQ on Saturday which should be fun, fingers crossed for no rain!

Thanks for reading!

x x x

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I just can't cope :(

I feel really bad because I haven't posted anything on here for over a month now. So many things have happened since my last post I celebrated my 20th birthday twice with friends but unfortunately was too ill to have a nice family meal with my parents (which sucks!). The day before my birthday was pretty intense as I had a breakdown in front of my friend at university where I just couldn't control the panic and I don't think she really understood.
Less than 2 weeks ago I had one of the best days with my friends as we went for a lovely meal at Wetherspoons (which is our regular place to eat) and we went to see the Muse movie at the cinema, it was AMAZING! I actually nearly cried because it just reminded me of when we saw them in the Summer and it was a day where I had no worries and I felt really happy! But with good things, bad things also takes place; as later that night my grandad sadly passed away :'( He battled his cancer for years and he was so strong but eventually it took him. 
It's great to know that the support in my family is so strong and my friends are always there for me, but recently I just can't help but worry. Panic attacks are emerging all the time especially this week and I just feel like crying which I guess is normal. I don't know I just feel really down most days since I have a few deadlines coming up, I have to do my uni presentation next week, the funeral is getting closer and I'm even considering whether I actually like my course at university! 

Anyway I'm trying my hardest to start again and get through this by using my reading week (which I'm on now) to be productive. I believe that all this stuff which I need to sort out is causing me to have these panic attacks again and making me feel miserable. I'm also thinking about the good things which I did recently such as seeing Vampire Weekend in Leeds last weekend. I've started drinking camomile tea again as well to help with relaxation. The fact that Christmas is coming up soon, makes me happy too as this means watching cheesy American Christmas films on Christmas24!
To end this on a good note I'll add some lovely pictures which makes me smile :)
Thanks for reading! xxx

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